Kinetica Dynamica Life.

If you would remember, I was ambiguous here.

Well, I have finally decided. I have, to put it simply, put the left indicator and turned right. Let's see where I go from here. I, for one, shall be watching my progress with keen interest.

Zen and the art of Hyderabadi parking.

Hey all, wassup, hello, hi, what ho! and all that.

I've said this before and I shall say it again. Any normal self respecting Hyderabadi normally drives on the road like its family business. I mean, if you took this chappie and put him on Mohammad Ali road in Mumbai (I still like to call it Bombay, tch.), he would drive like Mr. M. Ali was his father. The endorphin/adrenaline kick is well, really a kick here and the absolute lack of any thrill ride parks in Hyd is also explained by this phenomenon called traffic. Death defying stunts and car sequences belittling the scenes in "Ronin" are but a daily occurrence for our subject Mr. M. Ali's son. Suffice to say, if you can drive in Hyderabad, you can drive anywhere on this planet. Which is all good and all that.

But (There is always one, the but, that is.) if you can park in Hyderabad, you can't park nowhere else.
(This sentence, on the whole, is for my American friends who are basically from here but have stayed near the hood for a couple of years and call petrol 'gas', and use double negatives everywhere.)

A typical parking scenario is depicted in the illustrations below:
So there you have it. I can withstand the driving, but please, for the sake of my shattered nervous system and Ursa major, please learn to parallel park. C'mon O Goltis of Goltiland, fear not, for like you can always teach an old dog new tricks, you can also learn to park. For your sons and daughters toil in Boston, Mississippi, and other places, for they call petrol 'gas', for they use 'uh huh, I see that, uh huh' even when talking to Salim chicha with lubber chappal, for whom the USA is "Our country" (I find this tough to tolerate. Alright, so you've stayed there for some time, this still is YOUR country. ), for their sake, learn to forking park.

Muchos Gracias.

12:34:56 7/8/9

Apparently, this is a huge thing. The last time it happened was at 1:23:45 on 06/07/89. All the numbers being in series, that is. The next time will be in 2089 and I, hopefully, will not be alive to see it. So there. It's a huge thing. Given the hugeness of this moment and my inherent awesomeness, I have divined a mantra, applicable till 2089. For the general benefit of the masses, the most awesome mantra, in a line, is this:

"I am unique. Just like everyone else."

Yes. I know. It has already been said by some smarty pants, but I said it here, so it's an original by me. You can get a full version of the divine discourse on blu-ray if you pay me as much as I want.

Anyway, there are 7 couples I know who are in their 8th month of pregnancy. Pretty neat timing, huh? I wish all of them a healthy baby and a healthy life. Personally, to me, a baby is still 9 months of waiting and 19 years of pain. Maybe I'll be flogged for saying that, but I would get flogged anyway.

Also, the monk who bought the Ferrari from the monk who sold it is much smarter.

Here are some pics of the dog.

Anwar Ali's poem

25 Random things about me.

1. There is no situation on this planet that I cannot screw up.

2. God exists. His name, is Calvin.

3. I got kicked out of my kindergarten because my mom told me to be just like I am at home. I was caught atop a wall refusing to come down. Ahem, maybe the fact that I was stark naked while doing so may also have influenced the decision.

4. My nanny used to smuggle milk in a bottle for me at school till the age of 7.

5. I learnt to ride a moped before I learnt to ride a bicycle.

6. I am terrified of heights.

7. I am a surgeon's dream. My attitude towards surgeries surprises the most seasoned surgeons.

8. I am a biker at heart. I will always love two wheels and a motor in between. The optional wind in the hair, is of course, a given.

9. I love my dad totally and totally. Which maybe explains why we cannot be in close geographical proximity.

10. I sing best when I am alone. Same goes for almost anything I do.

11. I love dogs and tigers. I hate domestic cats.

12. I love kids before they become the "I know it all" smart asses.

13. As someone said, I never really grew up. I sometimes behave in public, just for the heck of it.

14. I generally don't make friends. Once I do, even god can't save them.

15. I am the god of sex appeal and banana flavored protein milkshake.

16. I have lost 3 best friends within a month to road accidents. All three were single children.

17. I actually wrote a theses on running a poultry farm when I was in engineering college.

18. I never remember birthdays, anniversaries, etc. I frequently rechristen people.

19. There are very few people who can make me laugh. Real hard.

20. I have an in-built mp4 player in my head.

21. I can drive (in Hyderabad) despite no depth perception.

22. I love chocolate ice cream with extra chocolate sauce and chocolate chips.

23. Given a choice between Pamela Anderson in Baywatch and Pamela Anderson in Barb Wire, I choose Kingfisher strong. Or Jack Daniels. On the Rocks.

24. I am generally lazy.

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot.

Hey all. 

Long time. 

Happy married life Masta. 

Couch, you and I are very similar. We both love nature. You love wildlife. I love my wild life. You and I love watching birds. You are an ornithologist, I am a hornithologist. It was a pleasure meeting you. Thanks for the flute. 

Big Fat Man sayeth: 

"You will only miss those who make a difference in your life and go."

Beetle, sup?

Nisha, I just read the 25 random things you wrote. "If" is my favorite too. And, ahem, thanks for calling me a fine person ya. 

It is strange that there is now no reference point in my life. It amuses me no end. I actually wrote a huge post about a bag lost in transit. My life is very similar to that. I am lost in transit, I don't know what baggage I am carrying. 

Anyway, I hope all of you guys out there are doing well. Will post something soon.  

Cheers till then. 

"Checchax kanna" starring nimma abhimana Romanchak Nanchak Manja, Silk Smitha Akka Polyester Padmaja, Etc., Etc. Saparivara sameta ivvatte nodi.

Q. Why have there been no blog posts recently?

A. Recession maccha. Re - Session.

I got braces on my teeth, my dog is gay, drove some distance on the highway (thanks to RamK), shifted lock, stock and one smoking katana from V to Hyd, the blog turned one very silently and there are five official followers now.

Met an awesome person who has terminal cancer. I said, "It is amazing that you consciously have the will to live when you know that you are surely going to die." (Deep, what? Original from me.)

The person said, "I don't have an option."

Cheers to you, mate. Go scare the shit out of death. And what with the bald pate and braces, I can join you with the scaring part.

Okay, time to move the frame to face the events of the day. Shift-ho! What? Further updates as the events warrant.

Ciao all, take care and spare a thought for Speedy Gonsalves.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot, I wanted to say this. If you are a terrorist from any place in the world, or are a Vogon, you can always nuke, bomb, kill, maim, rape, plunder, molest us Indians. We will gladly take it and even give you thirty answers. You can practically do anything you want. And what with our protocol and system and everything, we will not only take months or years to discover that you have done some irrepairable damage, we will also send you peace envoys. The keyword here, is the thirty questions. Don't forget those. We like to give answers. Even when you screw us.