Saturday, August 7, 2010

India - The state at play.

Serious thinkers. Forgive me, but I think you are bollocks. Forgive me, for I never see any thought transform into action. Forgive me, for I belong to a land of high treason. Yes, this is blasphemy. Which is why my comments section is moderated, but I would love to be convinced otherwise of what I am going to write about.

My country is the largest democracy in the world. I was talking yesterday to a Major in the Army who is in Srinagar. And these, are his exact words:

"There is a very thin line between democracy and holding the country to ransom".

How true.

Another friend of mine, who was concerned about the state of affairs in the region where I stay, with regards to the state being bifurcated, the political unrest, etc etc., forced me to think. And here is what I thank:

I am a citizen of this country by birth and descent. I am a citizen of Oslo by naturalization. I have been given a good education and made to read books with complex English, like Wren and Martin. In short, I consider myself to be one of the self - aware, city bred yuppies who think they have seen other cultures because they have also read Asterix and Obelix. If you are reading this, you probably belong to the same class of social existence. Now, here is my question:

Has any political leader from any political party, ever approached you for a vote?

How many bills have been passed in our parliament in the last month, and what do they concern?

How many of those bills will directly work for your benefit?

How is it that we have a deficit of XXX Billion $, but still come up with 'hosting' the Common Wealth Games?

Do the Common Wealth Games stand for let's all get together and share the wealth of the people equally like, say a poker game?

Did you know that the cost of one vote is one chicken Biryani and 500 rupees? So, if the ruling party has won by a majority of so many votes, you know how many chickens were there.

Why does my country run on preventive maintenance mode? I mean, why does it take a 26/11 to actually review our competency?

Maybe it's the blocked nose, or maybe it's the confidence that not many people would read this, but I think what the country needs most is a dictator. Please vote for me. Thanks.





Disclaimer:
The views expressed in this are not the author's. The author was drugged, bound, gagged, and made to type with his little toe. The article does not attempt to change / correct any administrative red tape in any country on this globe. The name 'India' is used figuratively and does not necessarily mean the country.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

The Future of Jeans - FADEAD

To,

The Management,
Levi's Strauss Jeans India



Dear Sir / Madam,


I have been you loyal customer for the past 27 years. I am also the proud owner of two pairs of Levi's 501's from the '80's. I recently went to the Levi's store to buy jeans and was taken aback at the quality of denims that are being passed off in the name of fashion. I understand that in today's world where nobody has time, you bring in pre-faded jeans, pre-torn jeans, etc., but it is my kind request that you also retain certain old school originals for old boys like me. My knowledge in wearing jeans is very limited and the only way I know for a jeans to fade is described below:
  1. Buy Jeans.
  2. Wear them.
  3. Remove only in case of suspected fungal infection or excessive itching in the wrong places.
  4. Wash both Jeans and self thoroughly.
  5. Hang Jeans upright, like you wear them.
  6. Go back to step 2.
Eventually, the Jeans also develops little tears due to aging. So please, for the sake of a dying breed of die hard romantics who do not understand pre-doing anything but would like to age with the Jeans, please, please market the old school Levi's blues. Each crease, each tear, each thread in these aged Jeans has a memory attached, and those, to me, are priceless.

Thank you very much.