To be a rock and not to roll...

Irony of life = Bangalore University.

Ironically, ever since I got an Ipod nano (8GB, black. Yes, I have one. Yes, I am showing it off.), my in-built Mp4 player is working overtime. Maybe its because my itunes doesn't have all the songs my head has. Anyway, the song going on in my head right now is Altaf raja's quintessential masterpiece, "tum to thehre pardesi, saath kya nibhao-gaaaaaaaaaaayyyy". The sublime nasal undertones in this song are awesome. No one on this planet can replicate those ethereal sentiments which bring instant bowel movements to one's soul. No one. Not even when they have loose motions. Not even when they are in some ICU in some 5 star hospital with loose motions.

I have not been writing at all for the past so many days, so I felt that maybe I thought that I should write something. Anyway, my mom is back and this time, we are going to buy the curtains. For sure. At least, that is what I hope. And none of you have told me anything about the Buddha that I asked for so many posts ago. Kya kar re re tum loga? Pindi ki meri....chindiya ho jari yaha meri zindagi....maa ki kiri kiri. Kya to bhi hai yaaron?

And, like I discussed with so many of you, (about 2 or 3 of you) please give me some ideas people. For the newbies, here is the info:

They say that at the end of your life, just before you 'go', all the important aspects in your life flash by you. Well, I want my flash to be the way I saw life, and I don't want to 'go' forgetting someone whom I should have remembered. So, here's the plan. We'll make a song. I have made a list of people who have influenced my life or thoughts in some way. They are going to star in the song. The background score would be 'Tashan mein' from the movie Tashan. Each person would be introduced with a 'the' attached to their name. So if you are on that list, please think of something which embodies your personality in about 15 seconds of airtime that you are going to get. I have listed out a few ideas for your ready reference.

The entire video will be in black and white. big fat man, I need your help with the logistics, the camera, the works. The song starts off with A.K doing any of his awesome Zippo tricks.

Megz - Walk on the beach picking up sea shells, see towards the camera, come running up to it, strike one awesome kung - fu pose, hit one brick, say "Oh, shit." and go back to picking up sea shells.

big fat man - play the guitar like Clapton. (the cigarette, I mean.)

couch - sitting on your arm chair, reading a book and drinking whiskey, smoking, suddenly bombarded by your guitar, flute, duke, A, T, camera, etc. Finally scratching your head and searching for a comb.

Goo - Look into the horizon, look at the camera and give that stupid grin of yours.

siddypiddy - whole family plays guitar wearing lungis. Syd starts crying.

Gee - On bullet. smoking cigar. Looking real shady.

Doing - sleeping on the table surrounded by lots of coffee cups. Suddenly gets up, goes out of woodys, does the doing over his scooter.

billy_beetle_dilly - Just stares at the camera for 20 seconds.

Bhaiyya - Lots of things for you to do. Like financial funding, paragliding, doing a donut in the corsa, etc. etc. I'll explain everything when you get here.

Bouncy bong & Red - Red reading Sir Arthur's book, while bouncy comes 'jhooming' and lands up on him. Freeze frame.

A.C - Take one Intel chip set and bang it on something.

Khadar - What else but the Zippo?

S&T - Send me a pic of you both.

A&D - Same like S&T.

Rohit - Pic of your face. That should do. Big time.

C.D - your orkut pic, that would do just fine.

UDay and Vjay - Pic.

Venki - Pic of your stupid grin.

Ajai - Maybe the bullet and Cathy, will discuss with you.

Bishu - Wearing full suit, drink tea at the local chai tupree.

Rama - Open your mouth and look at the camera like you would when you get your passport size photo taken.

Masta - Listening to Led Zeppelin, and shaking your head till you bang something or someone.

Cherry - Run.

Gautambuddha - Pic. (I'll tell you which one. Or suggest something good and I'll fly to where you are.)

N.S - Pic.

Mohit - Pic.

Summi ga - Pic of you staring at the sea during sunset. Jamaica, I think.

Burla - Pic of you head banging, hair let loose, Led Zeppelin T - shirt.

Radish - (Radhika) Pic of your family.

Rupak - Pic.

Kanta - Pic.

Raja - Pic of you smiling.

Don - Do that thing which you used to do in class.

Giri & Ms. Pa - Pic.
Deepi & Mr - Pic.
Harry & Sally - Pic.
Kunni & VamC - Pic.

Chinnu & Sowj - Pic. (I am so sorry.)

Sandy (biradar) - Pic.

Giri, Pa, Deep, Mr, Kuns, VC, Harry, Sarah, Chinnu, Sowj, Sandy, I will tell you the poses after discussing with you.

Damn, I know so many people. Anyway, anyone who is not here should get in touch with me asap.

Thanks.

The Rambler.

Godspeed.

"You should always try and think out of the box..."

"What box?"

"Erm...."

__________

My mom needs a GPS system. Especially when she is let loose in a mall. I was just talking to big fat man and explaining that shopping with my mom is far worse than the total perspective vortex. It is more like a paradigm shift (that too, a little to the right.). I am still trying to get the shaken nervous system back into its usual pristine work flow.

Moral of the story: Never go shopping for curtains with your mother. You will end up with ice cube trays, forks, soap holders, hangers, detergents, eatables, dairy products, vegetables (at 25% off), kitchen towels, scissors, knife, wooden spoons (for the pickles), sambar powder, kalankari shirts, raja ravi varma fake painting (lady with the lamp), a visit to the nearest zoo, etc.

Thank you.

P.S: My mom says we are going to buy the curtains for sure by the end of this week.

Happy Birthday Naren.

Hi Naren,

Happy Birthday ra.

How are you and how is the great gig in the sky? I am presuming you are in heaven. Either way, I am sure you don't have to pay for the drinks wherever you are, ergo, you are in heaven. Don't drink too much. Life here on earth is cool ra. It's going on, just like we thought it would. I am doing something which we used to hate. I am working nowadays, but don't worry, I plan to rule the world some day. I play the guitar sometimes ra. Though, I never played on stage and won't too. I will only play on stage when I get to where you are. I got married after you left dude. I got divorced too. Funny, no? I am in touch with S and T and A and D. They are all cool. We all miss you dude. I stopped listening to "Blood brothers" by Bruce Springsteen and "Romeo and Juliet" by Dire Straits because they make my face wet. But anyway, I know that you are somewhere. I am sorry ra, I did not come to see your dead body, I dint want to see you dead, you know. So whenever I mention you, everyone gets sad, but I feel happy because I have only the happy things with me. I still think you are in Oslo without an Internet connection and telephone, somehow working in the BMW F1 pits. Its surprising that even though its been so many years, people who knew you reading this would reflect the good times they had with you. I think that's an awesome achievement. Well, you know me, I could go on and on but I guess you have limited Internet access in heaven. I'll keep mailing you from time to time while you get a bird's eye view of everything happening in our lives dude.

God bless you my darling angel.

I love you.

The J.

P.S: Don't worry, I wished T too.

P.P.S: You must be the only guy with wings without Redbull.

Wah wah.

Diarrhea (or diarrhoea) is life's way of telling you how full of shit you are.

dolceanna and gabbanna

OK. The luggage has come. So, here is some poetry:

If only I was blind just for a day,
maybe I'd see you in a different way,
If only I was deaf just for a day,
maybe I'd hear more in what you say,
If only I was dead just for a day,
maybe I'd not want to live again-ay.

Wait a minute, maybe the dead don't come back to life again because life sucks once you are dead. Who knows, maybe hell is all Led Zeppelin and JD/Isle of Skye/Exquisit/any other alcohol and heaven is also the same?