Tequila Sunrise

Its another tequila sunrise. Woe is me. Bliss is life. Together, we are wobbly wobblys. Moral of the story: Never have Tequila in front of your dad. And, Dan Brown is Maharashtrian.

I am currenly enjoying a nice bout of suspected malaria. Its like you wake up at 2 in the morning, shiver like shit, sweat like a pig, smoke classic regulars cos they dont sell classic milds here, walk out of the door, swat some mosquitoes, come back, cock up and sleep. Or at least, try to. Life coudlnt have been normaler. Oh shit. Was trying to download "I love you" by Saigon kick and got stuck with a virus in my system.

Anyway, I got the internet at home, so its one small leap for me, one giant step towards civilization. The luggage that was sent from Hyderabad is missing. The last I know was that the truck guy had some accident or something. I hope my aquarium is safe. Truck driver, if anything happens to my aquarium, I hope you know how to swim. Even if you do, I will still drown you. The house should be ready within a week, and then I will upload the pics for you guys. Its my gift. Erm, to my self. But you can come in anytime as long as you smell good and dont have dandruff.

OK. When was the last time you used alas? I mean, the word, in spoken language? Never, right. I used it on the truck driver. And I am sure Dan Brown is Maharashtrian. Because if you remember Silas in the DV code, the situation demands that someone should say, "Alas! Silas!". My point is, if you say that fast enough and the right amount of times, you will end up saying something very gross in Marathi. Moral of this story: The guy who actually wrote DV code is Danesh Browndekar.

Thanking you,

Yours sincerely,

The J.

And I just got this pic from A.K. Its called Divorce cakes, and I found this to be very funny.

Summer rains.

They say opportunity knocks once. What if I am the opportunity, I am knocking on your door, and if you don't open it before the rains, I will have to take shelter somewhere else. Open the door, rambler, open that goddamn door.

Orkut has banned my web page. Do you think I am offensive? If you think I am, up yours. Dad's 61 st birthday is coming up tomorrow. So I bought him an external hard drive with USB connectivity. Also, got the Chinese lamps that RK bought for me so lovingly from China. Dude, they are simply awesome. You will again have to redecorate my house, and this time, I will photograph the entire thing and put it here. Also, I am looking for a 5 ft tall Buddha statue, exactly like the one in Hussain Sagar lake in Hyderabad. If any of you by any chance happen to know the place where I can get it, please leave a comment or something. I met S.V, S.R, P.C, A. k at a place called Mehfil. The place is so named because of one old dude who sings songs right in front of you. When I was in the state of being married, me and S.V along with wives used to frequent this place. And we always used to sit in the seats closest to this chap and S. V used to sing along one famous song called "chitti aayi hai". He had his own remix version. Dude, with all due respect, may I reproduce the reproducible part? Thanks.
"Susu aayi hai aayi hai susu aayi hai,
bade dino ke baad, bade jooron ke saath, susu aayi hai."
We really rocked that night again dudes. Thanks for making it by. Went to a new place which A.K moved into, or rather, is trying to move into. He already has problems with the neighbours. Way to go, rocker. Met this really amazing bunch of youngsters. Realised that I still can feel the guitar sometimes. Played it till morning, went out to Purna Tiffin Center, had breakfast, came back home stinking of rum, had coffee, went to sleep.
Its about 3 in the morning, and I really wanted to tell you guys something, but you know how it is at 3 in the morning, its not the right time. Maybe I'll tell you the next time, if there is one. Psycho analysts, please DO NOT deduce at this juncture that I am depressed. I am NOT. Or maybe I am. Either way, up yours. I just happened to hear a bad news. A child was still born. I dint know how to react. Just said its OK and that time will heal and all. But am not able to sleep. Its so bad....

Tuzha aila bindass kar sandass.

I was talking to my uncle the other day and he wanted to buy a PDA. So he was asking me my opinion (so that he could take it and decide against it.). After a lot of ultra kinetic psychedelic drug free rave party kind of psycho-immuno-endo-ecto-neutrino-methyl alchoholo discussion which usually occurs during these times, I finally asked him if he wanted the phone or he needed the phone. He said he wanted it. I said, "Then, don't fix a price for it."

By the way, am in Hyderabad right now. And its the first time that I am posting through a laptop. So, if you are a blogger, here is some advice. Always post using a desktop. It gives your posts more meaning in life. It gives them that extra dum, that extra shots (Sony - Deewana bana de?), that extra boiled egg. Spoke to everyone in Hyd, its good to know that there are some people left here who make this place worth returning to. Also was showing Jehangir (he calls me Salim pheku) how to drive a Hyundai santro "hood" style. This style basically is "the" style. It is the driving position in which any person on the road, who is not aware of this style, would get confused whether you are driving, snoozing, or smelling your armpit. And, you gotta play some Led Zepp or The Doors or Shakti or something like that just for effect.

Also, A.K wanted me to write about seven. The number seven. Because there are seven seas, seven days, seven sins, etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. (See!! I told you so....) So, basically there are a lot of sevens. I am sure even Cat Stevens name is Cat Sevens, though he has a Muslim name actually. N, you are sooooo awesome. So there you have it dude. I just wrote about seven. No need to thank me or anything. You can just pay me some money.

Baiyya, just saw your profile on orkut. And yeah, you sure are one acquired taste. Ha ha. In fact, all those of you (less than 15 and not counting) are all acquired tastes. Someone said, if at the end of your life, you have five true friends, you have lead a full life. Well, I crossed that number, so Mr. Anonymous, tell me what to do....

And yeah, V, remember the last time you said that I am a rock star and that I can change lives just by being me, I have an answer now. Yeah. I am a rock star and I can change lives just by being me. And that is because you guys are my most awesome rock band.

You know the most depressing moment in my life? It was when I sold Juggy (Juggernaut). The doctor said, "Its your back or the bullet." I said, "Bullet." I sold my dream with a loss of 25K. So I have it all figured now. If I live till I am 60, I am going to buy a bright pink batik printed shirt, with ZOSO written on the front and one weird Nataraja on the back. I am going to buy one fake leather jacket (for PETA's sake.) and I am going to write, "Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly." I am going to buy a bullet standard 350, paint it aquamarine, and drive. Or ride.

The man upstairs.

"Naren, if you were a girl, I would be so in love with you ra..."

"Same here ra. If I were a girl, I would be so in love with myself."

Aila bhai log. Kai zhala? I am currently expectantly expecting to shift to my own house. Finally. Phew. Sigh. Blah. Blah. Just wanted to talk some rot with you guys before I shift. Most of you seem to be liking calling me Rockstar. I like it too. Keep it up babus and babes. I called V and he said I am a rockstar and that I have the capability to change lives just by being me. ha ha. Sorry, that was HA HA.

Anyway, between the begining and this point in this post I have shifted. To the new house I mean. The electricals are up. The plumbing is up. The cleaning was awesome; I have never seen so much reptilian fauna, specifically, the geckos. The spiders were big. As you know, I am a good boy, so I coaxed all of them out with water jets. Some dint acknowledge the water jets, and close scrutiny declared that they were the mummified remains of long dead beings. So I paid my respects apart from paying everyone (cleaners, plumbers, electricians, etc.) a hell lot of money. Remember this: When you shift your house, you are plumbed, electrified, spring cleaned, white - washed (Now thats one more thing I gotta do.), and basically, screwed. So there. I shall also upload some photographs so that you know that I have a clean, nice house which I can call my own now.

Also, This is my spam box. Just thought you should see it. Remember the song, "Ding dong, oh baby sing a song" from the movie hero? Well, it takes a whole new meaning right now, dosent it?