The Party

Prelude:

This life that you lead is full of anecdotes, stories, etc. The basis of all these mistakes, blunders, spoofs, goof ups etc., is presumption. You presume. The basis of the following story too, is a presumption. That cops cannot make out the difference between iced tea and whiskey on the rocks. 

I hope you had a nice new year party. I am going to describe one. It may or may not be mine. It may or may not have occurred. There might or might not be a disclaimer or claimer to this story. Well, you get it, all events depicted in the following chronicle are completely based on fiction. Any resemblance to any person / motor car / whiskey , living or dead is purely co-incidental and unintentional. So.

19:40:

Oh shit!! I am going to be late!! Damn, I gotta drive some distance.... anyway, time to move the butt...Ok Amma, Nanna (Mom & Dad)... so long... have a happy new year!! I'll be back tomorrow by about 9, then I'll take you to your meeting. (Dad leaving for Portugal for important business meet. I am supposed to drop him to a preliminary meeting. I will. For now, hug mom and dad, kiss the dog, tighten jeans, shove the guitar in the boot, get out of the house.)

19:58

I wish I could take one for the road... who'd know the difference between whiskey on the rocks and iced tea anyway? (Wicked smirk. Head banging listening to "Ramble on".)

20:24

Hello? Yeah, Khadar...I'm on my way dude...will be at your place in about 20... yeah, I got the Guitar..... yeah man, there sure is a lot of traffic.... yeah.... see you soon... ciao.

(Some random phone calls in between wishing me a new year, or asking me if I'd need any loan, various kinds of text messages too.)

21:04

Damn. This traffic is killing me.... I don't want to spend the new years stuck in my car! Whoa... and there are so many cops... well... cheers to them. (Wicked smirk again)

21:05

Oh hi. This? This is iced tea. What? That? I know, that's a breath analyzer, but I am quite OK, it was just iced tea. What? The analyzer says I'm drunk? That damn thing must be made in China. What? It is? And you are going to put my in jail or something? What? you are not going to? you are going to seize my car? Holy shit! arrest me but leave my car alone... It is my dad's. Bhagwan ke liye mere gaadi ko chod do, officer, mai tumhare paira padthu. (That Hyderabadi had to come.)

21:37

Yeah, dude... I'm at Begumpet, I am stuck in traffic. Big time. I'll call you... wait.

21:54

Call khadar or RamK and explain the situation. Best thing to do. Both are unreachable. Nice day to be unreachable. Wait, I got Khadar's line. Yeah, dude, where are you? OH....you are there... OK.... can you come to Kacheguda Police station? Yeah, I know it's like 30 Km, but can you? I am at the police station. Thanks man. 

22:30

Listen to this with 20 odd strangers who have been "collected" like me. 

"Tum loga cara vara chalate.... suita boota pehente... kai ku hamari zindagi ka dimaag kharab karte yaaron? Ab jaare ich peene ko na... kaiku gaadi mein ich shuru ho jaana? thoda ruke to aasma gir jaati? "

(Translation: You guys drive cars, wear suits, why the hell are you intent on making our (the cops) lives miserable? You were anyway going to some place to get drunk, must you start while you are still driving there? Would the skies fall if you wait?)

Around 23:15

Khadar walks in, can't figure out what to do, so decides to join the fun.

23:30

"All of you can go, but what to do? Formalities are formalities, and rules are rules, so please fill up these 5 million forms and pay these 253 million challans and then you can leave, but the vehicles will only be given to you in the morning."

Wait. My dad has a meeting in the morning. Shit. 

Sir, please.... my wife is pregnant, I have to be at the hospital... in fact, I got drunk because I was nervous, I was not going to any party. Please give me my car. It's a medical emergency. (My brother has periods, anyone?)

Cops generally say this when they don't agree with you. 

"All of you can go, but what to do? Formalities are formalities, and rules are rules, so please fill up these 5 million forms and pay these 253 million challans and then you can leave, but the vehicles will only be given to you in the morning."

 

23:41

Still filling up the forms and paying those fines. Formalities my posterior. 

23:42

Wait. Brainwave. We'll celebrate it right here. Get the cake. Listen guys, fate got us here, so let's celebrate. What say?

23:58

And here's the cake. 

00:00

Happy new year everyone. May this new year bring you your cars back. 

00:03

Yeah man... wish you the same... thanks... you wanna know how I spent my new years... ha ha ... I was at THE PARTY man....