Me: Hey God dude!
God: Hey.
Me: What’s up? What are you doing on a Sunday morning at the beach?
God: Taking a stroll. Apart from the fact that this is one of the only places left which is free.
Me: Wow. Cool. So, tell me.
God: What?
Me: A lot of things, like…err…how does it feel being a God and all that?
God: Can’t describe it. They just told me that I was the project manager. Sounded like fun at that time.
Me: You are the project manager for this universe, wow. So what’s this project all about?
God: Well, we bid for a project to provide man power for another project called something, but let’s call it the universe for now. Supposedly, it was on BOOT (Build, Operate, Own, Transfer) basis till the UAT (User Acceptance Test), and then it would run on a BPO model.
Me: Awesome. So we are supposed to be the manpower?
God: Yeah, that’s why you are called mankind.
Me: Oh, yeah. So why are some of us black, some brown and some white?
God: Blame it on the shipping company. When we were getting you to this planet, we dint really know how to ship you, so the shipping company just put some of you in the freezer, some of you in the oven and the rest of you were just left like that. Eventually, as is obvious, all of you survived.
Me: Oh, that explains a lot of things. What was the name of the shipping company?
God: Titanic Inter – galactic Shipping Conglomerate Limited.
Me: Now THAT really explains a lot of things. So what are you here for now?
God: Project review.
Me: Great. So what is your religion?
God: What is that?
Me: Well, you know, the thing where you distinguish between people… are you a Hindu, a Muslim, a Jew, a Nazi? What are you?
God: This is what really freaks me out. We just send you here with all that investment and you come here, destroy everything that you see, invent really useless crap like war, standing in a line, marriage, and now you got religion? Oh wow. Great.
Me: Okay, relax. Chill out mate. You got friends?
God: Yeah. Elvis.
Me: But he was supposed to be kidnapped by some alien dudes or something, right?
God: He was, he got bored of being famous and being kidnapped all the time. So we hang out together nowadays.
Me: Cool. Any others?
God: Yeah, I keep talking to Douglas and Page. I actually gave Douglas a guitar and Page a pen.
Me: But, but…they are….
God: Yeah, I know, Douglas wrote a book with the guitar and Page played stairway to heaven with a pen.
Me: No wonder.
God: I know.
Me: Phew. It’s a long walk….
God: It’s a long beach.
Me: But Longbeach is in California…
God: Oh, so now they got a long beach which is called longbeach. Awesome.
Me: Yeah, I know. Care to join me for a swig?
God: Sure. I’d like some Heineken. Its one of your inventions I like.
Me: Cheers then, eh? To life, the universe and everything…
God: Chee…uh, oh…ah…whatever….
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9 comments:
I want a piece of angel cake.
Hang on. Its somewhere here big fat man....
rai bava...cant refrain from becoming a fan for ur style of writing...let the gud work continue.....and ya...let heineken/bud/carona flow on ;)
why a Harley Davidson...he would suit better on a Luna!!!
Thanks sandeep & anonymous.
sandeep - do you believe in love at first sight or shall I walk by you again? Thanks bro. You keep writing good comments and I'll keep writing some crap!
anonymous - Thanks Don. Unfortunately, god is not as "slim" as us!
Douglas here is Douglas Adams - The author of The Hitch Hikers Guide To The Galaxy.
Page is Jimmy Page - The lead guitarist of Led Zeppelin.
Douglas Adams writes books like guitar riffs.
Jimmy Page plays the guitar like a poem.
Kya to bhi bolte anna... Heysoos se pehle Allah hona yaaron... Pindey ki meri.... aise chindi chor bloggan likku tum baingaan me mila diya meri "religous sentiments" ku...Manageraan/Vanageraan banadiye Heysoos ko...
by the way..Awesome Blog post...
arre sorry yaaron...mereko malum nahi pada tumhare "religious sentiments" the ich karke....chalo abhi kya to bhi ho gaya na...thanks dude.
Gud One Dude... Somehow God never heard of Guiness ?! -Ravi
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